Barrier
1 04 2007
I often feel like I’m on the cusp of a breakthrough, on the verge of an ingenious inspiration that will make words flow from my fingertips like water. Words that will make the readers stop breathing for a second due to their lyrical, powerful, and poetic force. Sometimes I feel that I’m on the verge of understanding a complex mathematical problem, or a complicated political point, a dense legal argument, or even God. Not only understanding these things, but internalizing them, dissecting them, and then spinning out an analysis that will impress anyone that came across it.
But these words, this analysis, this creativity, this insight, this brilliance, this union with God, often feels just out of reach. Like I could just touch it with my fingertips but can’t quite grasp on. Rather than words flowing from my inspired hands like water, they slip through these grasping fingers because I cant quite hold them. Rather than feeling a union with God, the most I can feel are flashpoints of semi-proximity.
I can feel the barrier in my mind between brilliance and mediocrity, between immortality and existence – and I find myself on the wrong side of it.
This is a very succinct and well-written post. It’s actually quite ironic in light of what you claim in it.
Salamaat,
Ya muse we all stuck on the human side; flawed and tragic with yearning souls. Beautifully written Mashaallah.
i agree with sabir.. flowed from your finger tips after all..
thank you for the kind words my dears. these days the well is dry
[...] which has graciously hosted me for the last few months, but I’m once again up against this barrier which blocks my creativity and stifles my [...]
I used to have similar feelings, but I expressed them in different ways. Remind me to tell you about it next time I talk to you.